On Inspired Brands and Relationships

I had an interesting (and usual) conversation with my sis today on the topic of inspired (she calls them "fakes", despite the fact that inspired means modelled after without the brand's logo) brands versus the real thang.. My sis is obviously very much the "real thing or nothing" gal (i have a couple of gfs like her) whilst I belong to the category who prefers to pay a fraction of the cost for an inspired brand which is just as well made and looks almost or close enough to the real thing, to the point i had friends asking me if it is actually the real thing.

I had just purchased some YSL Arty-inspired rings from online and she was all like, the real thing is only 300+, get the real thing! I replied with my usual answer, No way. I simply cannot plonk a 3-4 digit sum down for something that isn't an icon (that said, i think the only icon worth paying for is the Chanel, it's simply a classic) or something I will grow tired of after a while. I love variety in my accessories and bags, which explains why I cannot just pay a 4-fig sum for a real Celine, or a Bal. I will not fully utilise its cost, given my bag-changing rate. Wallet i can justify, as one is not likely to transfer wallets all day long. Bags, i like to match to my outfit, hence I change from day to day according to my mood and outfit of the day.

That got me thinking. I enjoy variety in my dressing: my clothes, my bags, accessories and even hairstyles (for friends who have been with me long enough, they have seen me with hair even shorter than some guys). My logic is, I only live once, and hence I must try it all out! If only i can apply this to more emotional aspects of my life, then perhaps I would not always get so stuck when I face a human relationship crux. If only i can abandon my feelings or move on with the same reckless abandon i pay to my stuff ( i just discarded / passed on another two bags today - one of which used to be my fave clutch of all time), things would be so much easier for me. Unfortunately my attention to anything that requires that hot bloodred blood pumping organ in my chest is as one-tracked as the devotion my sis pays to LV.

So i backtracked abit and thought, if i had paid a 4-figure sum for that clutch, would i have passed it on with such little feeling? Perhaps not. Same goes for relationships I guess. The more time/efforts/heart a person invests, the more s/he is likely to hold on hoping for a better tomorrow.

Perhaps I also know i am unable to pay so much for a brand and would rather content my lust still with an inspired. At least I get to fulfil my lust. I cannot see the value in a brand, so i would rather settle for the lesser as it involves lesser heartache when the object eventually wears and tears. So i pay the price i think is worth for the inspired, which is usually a 2-digit sum. A fraction of the 4-digit sum only! Problem solved. I satisfied my lust. I paid the price. I can move on fairly well when it eventually wears and tears without too much heartache for the price i paid.

The values we can attach to material stuff cannot always apply to human relationships though.

I cannot hope to restrict my feelings and give the worth I think it is worth in a relationship when I am in love. When i am in love, it is not about paying $50 when I think it's worth $50 and $100,000 when i think it's worth $100,000. When i am in love, I give all my fortunes out. Such people are stupid some would say. But that is why they say love is blind.

I also cannot just fulfil my lust. (i mean, physically)

However the one value i have towards inspireds is one thing i had always done when it comes to matters of the heart. I have always settled for less. My logic tells me I cannot settle for less in a relationship (even if i can settle for less in material brands). But my heart always told me to settle for less because i probably do not deserve more. I have treated my heart the same way I buy an inspired (just settle for it because you cannot have the real thing), forgetting that my heart is actually the most priceless treasure of all, (Even as I am typing this, i am doubtful of myself still.. GAWD.. Old habits die hard) and should be treated with even more prudence than i treat my bank account.

Hence when the price is paid and the relationship wears and tears, the heartache lingers. For a long long time. Because the price tag had been an exorbitant one.

That is why they always say self-love is the highest regard you can pay to yourself. It is true. A gal who always puts herself first, pampers herself first, loves herself first, gets the sort of relationship many can only hanker and dream about eventually.

Perhaps I should start to learn to direct my one-track devotion to the real thing soon. Then Chanel will stop living in the back of my mind and become a reality soon =)

i will still continue to pursue my love for designer brands through inspired brands. But i will not feel guilty for buying that real 500+ Prada wallet that i treated myself to.

Ultimately this is my attitude towards fashion. I want to have that beautiful design, but i am not going to beat myself up if i cannot afford the 4-digit price tag. If the inspired pleases me, i will still have my cake. Yes this one can settle for less.

Likewise, i have paid the price emotionally. I can stop beating myself up and direct more punishments on the already-badly-wounded heart. And start restoring it with more self-love. I have to listen to the message its feeble voice is trying to carry to me. No you cannot settle for less here. I am your priceless. Treat me well.

I just have to be careful not to intermix the attitude i have towards fashion with the attitude towards relationships. Just as I am very aware of my one-track devotion in relationships, I have to be very aware not to settle for less again.

Photo credits: http://www.somestylest.com/2012/03/quiet-riot.html