Could be the energy shifts, or as i read in an article, the eternal summer state of singapore (unlike countries with 4 seasons, people who live in summer countries tend to hold on and find it difficult to let go of stuff.. people who live in countries with 4 seasons experience change and realise how things are never constant and learn to cherish more), I am feeling that restlessness within. I hear too many people wanting to get out.. wanting to start a new life elsewhere. (Again, read in another article about the short-lived effects of getaways / holidays) And i wonder, is that really a solution?

People tend to only consider the idea of starting life afresh somewhere, and neglect the part of whether they will adjust, or if they might go into another similar hellhole. Starting a new life isn't just about upping and going, and then think that the new life would bring good stuff and they would live happily. Although i have never been abroad for such a long stretch myself, i am still very thankful for my safe and secure life here. The safety and security many of us tend to take for granted.

Of course, life is about grabbing opportunities, and i cannot say that one day i won't up and go if the opportunity presents itself.. But i think that people should just stop seeing "starting a new life" as a way to escape their unhappiness here. Cos if we don't resolve the unhappiness, the unhappiness goes and stays with us wherever we go.

Because of the bout of negative energy i been feeling recently, and also having read some very enlightening books on healthy boundaries and emotion vs logic, i been trying to clear some of the unhealthy things in my life. Tonight did a 'cleanup' on FB.

I did feel abit lost when i realise yest was the last art lesson. I sure hope the monthly meeting works out!! But it will really enable me to save a few hundred bucks and i can afford to do so much more with that money =D such as shopping? haha.. no la.. i also realise my bank account is in quite a sad state for my age and i need to look after it more properly!

Also, thoughts of him and some of the past memories have been bombarding me for the past week or so, in not so healthy a manner. Though i am very conscious of them and just let them flow, i do realise i do not want to keep replaying the scenario in a way that is not going to do me any good. Luckily, LaRoche's "Escaping from the prisons of our minds" came in time. I hope i can find some peace through that.

I do not really like the fact that imagining them in intimacy, or the fact that they get married someday, or she is the one who changes him, do bother me. Whatever happens to him isn't supposed to be part of my reality anymore. My life is so much more than this. Sure. Easier said than done stimes. Esp at times of the month when i get particularly emotional and my mind is not at its strongest to support me logically enough. This is when i have to depend on art and yoga and music to get me through..

Time will heal i know in my case. With plenty of self-loving and minusing of negative energy in my life..