On Happiness and Disappointments..

So I woke up this morning to K's message that our Korea trip was off, as her colleague's friend sold the incentive tix without his knowledge (explaining why my redemption last fri did not go well.. I kinda had a bad feeling then but tot it would work out as long as we procured the redemption letter. Once again, i gotta trust my uncanny instincts on such matters). It was super disappointing, and i wanted to go for morning swim with sis to swim off the frustration, but minutes after we got out the house, it started drizzling and distant thunder was heard in the background, so we had to head back. Annoyingly forty-five mins later, the sun came out again! Urgh.. when it rains, it always pours. (metaphorically)

I was really upset cos i was looking forward to the break.. but as comforting msgs came in and I watched the weather change, I realised that the recent disappointments had kinda shored me up abit. The feelings come and go.. I was very disappointed, but it isn't worth wasting my entire day mulling or wallowing over (rem G's words). I realised that as long as i changed my thinking, that was really all it took. So i cheered myself up (after making all my whatsapp complaints), decided there must have been a good reason that this has happened, better things will come up, and went for a movie with my sisters. Johnny Depp was gorgeously funny in Dark Shadows =)

We can look out for better deals, and i can save more moolah, even treat myself to a nice treat (partly to make up for the disappointment) and then the day becomes better. I was just reading this article in an old 8Days mag, and a celeb said sth on relationships that we all would be well-acquainted with but i decided to document here as a journal memory:

"The split taught me that you can't have an existence where you cannot survive without another person. Your partner's job is not to make you happy. That's your job. Furthermore, the happier you are on your own, the more likely you'll find someone who can come into your life to share it."


I remember G telling me that i must remember that i cannot be afraid of being alone, of loneliness. As humans are made to procreate and come together, this can be a difficult concept to accept. Whilst it is true that I do want someone by my side at the end of the day, i realise i cannot truly achieve that nor attract that kind of energy as long as i dun learn the secret of being happy on my own and lead a fulfilling life myself. It's uncomfortable stimes and i get people telling me or feeling that i should not be always lost in reflective thoughts or being by myself too much, but i know i need to.

I will still hang out with people when i want to. But as i spent time by myself, like today, watching a couple vids on a variety show, and dressing up a toy boutique shop, i enjoyed and savoured the peace of just doing my activities.

I also read some interesting thoughts on happiness off this novel sis lent me recently:

'The old monk said, "The basic mistake people make is to think that happiness is the goal!"'

'If you try to achieve it, you have every chance of failing.'

'Because they tended to believe that what they thought was reality and that was often not the case.'

I cheated abit and skipped to the last quote at the back.. so i think i still need to read the entire novel to comprehend it better.

If we stop seeing happiness as a goal, and start enjoying what we do, i guess eventually that's where happiness comes in, unconsciously.