Heylo Christmas : New hair + outfits for me

Was feeling kinda emo tonight, whatsapped some of my babes and though i know a couple of them are trying their best, it does not totally alleviate the emo-ness of tonight. So i played a couple of my all-time-can-make-me-laugh videos, and decided to visit a couple of my fave fashion bloggers to gain some inspiration. Came across a couple of pleasing pics =) Curvygirlchic especially, could make me smile with her genial smile, and her fashion-forward holiday outfits.

Photo credits: Curvygirlchic, Gabifresh

Seeing them work the blazer and pants inspired me in my following two outfits below. The casual-chic androgynous look is so in for me now.

On a sidenote, I have also curled my hair again. Loved the spiral twist curls which are so Victorian if I styled them right. I especially like how the feminine romantic curls complement and balance the new chic androgynous look I have in my outfits. Of course, i still love my dresses very much. Just wanna try a new look sometimes =) It reminds me of Vivian (Julia Roberts) in Pretty Woman as well, the outfit she wore when she went shopping with Edward (Richard Gere).

Till the next time. Happy Holidays =)

I am no angel.. though I can strive to look like one physically =p

Am in a better mood.. K taught me something very useful.. about compartmentalizing my feelings.. which is a very effective mood-lifter.

I should also stop procrastinating and get my tuition blog going (as a couple of friends have already sugg to me).. but yeah.. I am still in a very lazing mood. With a depleting bank account.. horrors!! okok i will TRY to be more hardworking hehz.

Been loving this song by Rainie Yang recently. It has been a while since I hunted for new Chi songs.. and I chanced upon this in a 100% entertainment episode featuring her. Love her new look and hairstyle. Very clean cut and androgynous.. I can totally see Piglet in this look =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsLEGRuFe_w&feature=fvwrel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4prGDD-iF30

The second link has a very interesting tarot reading at the end of the video. The song is pretty meaningful and uplifting, and it helps that the singer is pleasing to the eye with a sweet voice to boot.

And to end off the post with some outfit posts to satisfy the vainpot in me =)

Curls are working out so well for me i am looking forward to my next curling session in Dec. Though I am also super super tempted to get the sleek shoulder-length bob! Arghhhh choices!! Anyway am loving my outfits thus far =) Kaylene is doing so so well in KD's hands and her pieces just keep on getting better =) So proud of her achievements! That should spur me to work hard too yes? haha..

Till the next time!!

I'll be damned..

I am not happy.

I have not been so angry in a long while.

Everytime i think back to what happened yesterday, no amount of cool-down techniques worked. You can say it is probably an accumulation.

It's like, she is given a gift for the gab, and she uses it for foul things, for damning others.

I should feel sorry for her, but i am just too angry this time. And i feel entitled to my anger.

And my anger spills out to the woman who also indirectly allows this to happen every time.

I am almost certain that if my grandparents, or even if my aunt is around, they would have given her a tight slap right there and then, in public, no less.

Because she shouted at/shamed her older sis in public first.

Sure it's a degrading society. The basic respect that an elder is entitled to no longer exists.

We have come to the age where it is okay to derail at/shout at/demean your elders in public.

I remember telling her off in my uni days, that she should learn to respect her elders. Her answer then? She retorted I need to earn her respect.

I remember silently agreeing that maybe the fault was mine. That I had not done anything to earn the respect.

7 years down the road. Nothing has changed. Except something has changed. My self-esteem.

Not alot of it yet, but i know my basic rights at least.

That for someone like me who holds the title of eldest sis in the family, even if you downright don't respect me, you got to show the basic respect in public. I mean physically.

That means as the eldest, even if i shout at you, u dun retort back. Unfair much? Try explaining that to the elders and challenge the traditions.

Like, no matter how much i may not respect my dad for all he had done, i would never let him lose face in public, or in front of his friends.

Just because that is the basic respect he is entitled to as a father, as the man of the family.

He can scold me in public, But I must not. Because that is hierarchy.

Anyway her lack of change all these years just shows one thing.

Not like what my couz said, she has a mental problem (or maybe she does).

She has reached the point where she has basically no self-respect for herself anymore.

Wanting to win the arguments, wanting to prove she is better than others by demeaning others, only has criticisms for others, shouting in public. All culminating to no self-reflection and no self-respect.

I just have to live with the fact that i am, not by choice, bonded by blood to her this lifetime.

I always did have bad vibes about her since i was young, as I recalled always being biased to her to my parents.

I can be evil if i want to.

Problem is, i am too tired. And i think i would rather work more on myself, than always coming back to a recurring issue.

Can't wait to get my own place.

Random i-blame-it-on-the-raging-hormones thoughts

There are times like this I will get quite afraid.. that I will become like what my couz said, that I am desperate to get hitched.. and I will keep over-thinking and over-analyzing it.. am i am i AM I?

I havta rem relationship stuff is not sth i can comfortably talk to the couz with. Cos she's too cool-headed and too logical when it comes to this area.

Esp when i rem back to that incident about tt bugger provoking me with it and though i told him off in the name of respect, I fear i am actually also scolding him cos i have this deep-set fear that i didnt know exist.. okay i am definitely over-thinking.

First up when i think of despo women in their 30s.. and i thk of xx and xxx. I DONT WANT.

I will always rem how G told me that i musnt be afraid of being by myself.. or like MTE said, Never look at the other to take your pain of fear and loss away, cos that's when all the problems start. But then G will have someone lined up when her current fails. Oh well, if i havta define it for myself, it means I must be really comfy doing all these things by myself. Happy. Not self-conscious.

I do have times when i enjoy that coffee in that cafe, or a meal in the shop, and I feel fine i think. Being by myself has its perks. I can people-watch. I can listen to my music. I can read my book. I can play on my phone. I can pay attention to my own thoughts. But i also have times when I shop or walk by myself and I panick, thinking people are judging me.

I blame it on the period hormones (oh so convenient heh) and I know this period will pass. I will have peace, inner peace and I will NOT become afraid of myself. Like, myself only =)

Melanie Tonia Evans is my online counsellor

Recently Melanie Tonia Evans has written a number of articles in succession that I feel I can really reasonate with in my journey of personal learning. I had depended on her (and a few others) for my healing a few months back, and she continues to write such inspiring articles. I will share one I am reading today:


"Nothing Is Real With Someone Who Is False


If you have been in a narcissistic relationship you know what it feels like to be with someone who is false. At first they sweep you off your feet, they are charming, caring, supportive, loving and everything you could have desired in a partner.

Before long some actions “don’t add up” and something feels “off” about this person, but you may ignore these warning signs or justify the behaviour, whilst trying to hang on to what you thought was your dream life and dream partner.

If we are not honest and real with ourself, before long the relationship takes a sinister turn, and it is too late.

We become dependent on the narcissist for their approval, the promise of what he or she brings to the relationship , and we become incredibly hooked.

The narcissistic experience is an example of what can happen if we are not true and honest with ourself. And if we continue these patterns we will continue to draw unfulfilling love experiences and false individuals into our life.

In this article I am going to share with you my past – my relationship with my ex narcissist and show you how being untrue to myself was causing me to continue living a painful life.

I am also going to teach you how to start being honest with yourself, and how this can allow you to create a fulfilling life experience of abundance, freedom and truth.

On Tuesday’s Empowered Love Radio I also did a show on this topic. You can listen to it here.

In order to write this article I delved deep into my past. I went back into feeling my life with the narcissist – a life for me which is now another universe away.

And I dug deep….

I know that the significant difference between my life now and my life then – is that my life then was not real – no matter how much I wanted to believe it was – no matter how much I tried to make it so.

The truth was it wasn’t – and was never going to be.

At surface level it seemed to be. Here was this knight in shining armour who seemed to love me more than anyone else ever had. And what seemed wonderful at the time was – I believed he was exactly the man I wanted to love.

What seemed to come with him was kindness, compassion, similar interests, wealth, purpose, the ability to build and create dreams and the holidays, lifestyle and creations that go with that….as well as of course incredible love.

This relationship deal felt so perfect, so right and so incredibly solid that I didn’t stop to check if it was real or not – I just went with it.

He seemed so sincere. He seemed so strong, so together and so capable, and the way he acted towards me made me feel that I was the only women that existed in the world for him…so I didn’t question…

And I breathed a deep sigh of relief.

I thought … finally here is the man who is going to take my pain and fear of being alone away.



Knowing but Still Ignoring

Even from the beginning of the relationship, I could feel a nagging doubt in the pit of my stomach saying ‘Too good to be true’ and a certain look or a statement he would make would send ice through my veins.

Even from the first week in – I had the feeling ‘Something is really wrong here’, and I ignored this gnawing doubt, and I still ignored it even when it became a deafening crescendo.

And of course as you know and I’m sure you can relate to…. by the time I knew the truth I was so attached and hooked to my version of this is meant to be, I still found ways to justify hanging on to the relationship, regardless of how much I tolerated abuse that I thought I never would.

Back then I suspected he wasn’t the real deal, yet I had no idea that the reason I was with a person who was not real – was to do with me and the levels of how real I was or wasn’t with myself.



The Hollow ‘Victories’

Every victory, such as the purchase of our new property, the renovations, the landscaping and the acquisition of our boat was short lived.

You see, I was like the general population at this stage of my life, I thought that happiness was acquired through something outside of me.

I thought that having ‘the love of my life’ and creating an incredible life together was it… I thought that this was my nirvana.

So why was it that these ‘wins’ in my life were fraught with so much trauma?

How could a real life hold so much pain – which would inevitably follow each time I thought I had reached blissful happiness?

Each and every time I believed he and I had a victory, I could convince myself that things would change and we could share a life where we could ‘be happy’, yet another curve ball would come out of nowhere and hit me straight in the face.

Another assault on my character, my commitment, my fidelity, my morality, or (fill the gap) would occur.

As well as a multitude of court cases, disasters, and ‘what is going to happen next’ in regards to his business ethics, stealing, lying, manipulating – (you know how it goes).

This version of ‘dream partner’ and ‘dream life’ carried a horrible price that started shattering the dream, and turned it into a mirage.

A thin smoke-screen of ‘what I thought this was meant to be’ disguised the truth … that none of this life I was living was real.

It wasn’t real, because real love promotes, nourishes and supports healthy emotions.

I now know why my emotions were screaming at me…



You are the Only Real Thing in Your Life

We have all been programmed to believe that ‘things’ and ‘other people’ create real happiness.

But what happens when a person we want to love, and have decided should love us is so toxic that they cause our emotions to spiral out of control?

Bringing up our deepest fears and insecurities and using them as torturous weapons against us?

Regardless of what this person holds up as ‘the carrot’ that could make our life ‘amazing’ – None of what they have on offer is real.

The only person that is real in your life is YOU.

Please don’t be confused… I don’t mean you are the only person you can ever trust.

Or that it’s you versus life and you better only ever rely on you and stay guarded from everything and everyone else…

What I mean is: You are the co-creator of everything and everyone you experience in your life.

Everything and everyone you experience is reflecting parts of yourself.

What this means is: You have no ability to have a real relationship with a real person until you get real with yourself.

In the years that I have been facilitating thousands of narcissistic abuse recoveries, I have never met anyone who has been abused by a narcissist, who DID NOT experience ‘off feelings’ about the narcissist initially, that they were not prepared to confront.

Myself included… At this stage we were not prepared to honour our self.

I’ll come back to the statement: The only person that is real in your life is you.

Because… if you don’t get real, the ‘things’ and ‘people’ that you thought will bring real love and happiness, will simply bring you pain, heartbreak and destruction again and again instead.

When you do get real, and live your life accordingly, then your life will reflect real love results.

It is Energetic Law and can only and will only turn out that way.



How to get Real with Yourself

There is only one way to get real – and this is to be honest with you.

Stop blaming, making excuses and using justifications – such as ‘he or she should have been, done or not been or not done …..’.

There are no should’s or should not’s in life – life just is.

And a painful life is always showing us something – something that we have not wanted to acknowledge about our own truth within our self.

If you know that the person who is hurting you is a narcissist – then it is time to get truthful with yourself.

I promise you this was the massive turning point, from the brink of my inevitable death, which was exactly what put me on the path of recovery and enabled me to start creating a real life.

And there was no way I was going to live, or that was going to occur until I got real with myself.

My questions to get real with myself were:

Why did I attract a person who was a False Self into my life?

Why did I ignore the warning signs and continue even though I knew something was wrong?

Why did I try with everything I had to maintain this relationship even though I was abused horribly by a person who displayed anything but real love?

Why did I believe that the odd shows of care, love and hope were enough to replace the soul shattering abuse that regularly took place?

When I stopped beating myself up and blaming myself for how ‘stupid’ I had been, and how I had made choices that had destroyed everything I thought my previous life was, and instead realised that now I had an opportunity to heal my pattern of relationship pain and abuse, I knew the answers to these questions followed by a plan of action to heal was incredibly necessary.

I knew I had to establish a True Self – a Real Me – to avoid going down the same track ever again.

Life had brought me this experience not as a random act, and not as a ‘mistake’ of being in the wrong place at the wrong time – life had brought me the ultimate message and lesson of a narcissist because I had missed the lessons in my other unfulfilling relationships up until this point.

Love relationships are our greatest healing agent to show us.

It is such a shame when we miss that.

Life had brought me this message, because up until this point I had not learnt how to be real with myself, and if I didn’t start fixing within me what I needed to – then the same type of relationship would naturally come into my life again.



The Answers and the Direction

There is no way to force the narcissist to get real.

There is in fact no way to force anyone to be a certain way to make you feel safe, loved and happy.

You only have the ability to change yourself in order to feel safe, loved and happy. And only then will the people that are a match and have the resources to supply you ‘more of yourself’ will gravitate into your experience. Then you will naturally add to and inspire this love with healthy people, and the ones that aren’t – as soon as they feel ‘off’ and / or display behaviour that clearly is off – you will have no desire to latch on them and try and force them to change..

When I answered my questions to myself honestly – this is what I came up with.

I had wanted the narcissist to provide me with the love, happiness and fulfilment that I had as not yet provided for myself.

The truth was:

I did not authentically love and accept myself.

I did not feel whole on my own.

I believed someone else had to save me from my emptiness and unhappiness (despite being very independent and successful in everything else other than relationships).

I believed that I had to hang on because there may never be another experience of ‘love’, and certainly not the ‘love’ I thought he promised.

I believed if I rocked the boat I would be abandoned and lose ‘love’.

I believed that he was the one with the problems and I was simply the victim.

I believed by fixing him I could feel okay and well, and…

…I had no idea that I could embrace my own power to create what I wanted in life regardless of what he was or wasn’t doing.

Of course this was a simplified list… I had a lot more to uncover and heal.

The truth was I wasn’t honest and true to myself.

And because I wasn’t, I attracted a False Self, a person that reflected how I was not real with me.

Now I knew the direction of what I needed to be to stop the pattern of destruction, of living a false life with people that were not deliverers of love, happiness, safety and fulfilment.

I had to become these things to myself.



How to Become Real

In order to become real to yourself you need to search inside and find out the beliefs, the fears and the insecurities you have that have kept you separated from loving and accepting yourself and knowing that you are the creator of your own life.

You need to examine, embrace and understand why you have held other people responsible for your happiness, why you have been limited in your ability to let go and create something better, and why you have feared and believed that you are not enough to go empty, and then learn how to be full enough within yourself to attract and choose from life who and what is healthy.

You need to work on and heal your fears, insecurities and limiting beliefs.

When you do, you can then maintain your own emotions and trust your decisions, and be your truth and your fullness. This will allow you to accept, maintain and promote what is a match for your own truth.

How do you do this?

You do this by examining, embracing and releasing all of the pain and fears and insecurities that have been running your life in the direction you don’t want to go.

Once letting go of these old patterns and tendencies – which have all generated from your emotional fearful self – you need to reframe these into healthier beliefs, self-convictions, truths and strengths that do serve you.

When you do this you will find your true way of being.

A way of living that is not generated from fear and pain.

Then you get to make great choices that come from your own solid sense of self. You get to feel, create and experience a genuine life of creation, honesty, love, joy and expansion.



I hope you enjoyed this article and I hope it helped you realise how important it is to be real to yourself."

Education-related

Just a couple of thoughts i think are noteworthy enough for me to pen here before i turn in for the night. Ahh.. it's an early workday tomorrow.

1) Couz brought up an interesting thought tonight that kinda reasonates with what i thought some time back. She said if she had my level of Language, namely English, she would have been using it elsewhere in this world.. i.e. teaching overseas.

This had crossed my mind before. Teaching overseas. Perhaps it's fear, perhaps it's comfort zone, but i have not found the guts within me to step out yet. And of course, the lower pay in comparison(from what i saw in some websites in the past when i contemplated the idea).

But this possibility may materialize in the future.. Singapore's syllabus may one day reach a point where I might not find viable to teach here anymore. Much as I love the challenge in tackling a new syllabus and learning it, there is just no platform for home-based tutors to master new changes, i.e. workshops etc. Thus far, i have to rely on my teaching friends and online resources. My strengths are in Grammar and Syntax mainly.. and i wanna be able to utilise it to the fullest. They are probably best used in helping students who really cannot even handle English at its basic, i.e. countries where English isn't the first language.

So what couz said did jolt me. I will see.

2) A conversation with a student today brought up this thought i had in mind for some time. It was one of those whatever-i-am-learning-now-i-will-not-even-use-them-in-the-future kind of conversations. It is interesting to note that this is a question that never really crossed many of our minds (i mean the 70s-80s kids). Don't do well, you will surely not do well in the future. Perhaps it is the fear of being left behind and getting the back-end of jobs that pushed us to give our best in whatever we do, or be THE best. It was this fear that propelled me to do well because I did not want to be sweeping streets or cleaning toilets (ya the old grandma story). AT EVERY STAGE OF MY ACADEMIC LIFE. Because by accessing the next stage, you need to pass the current one, isn't it? The key here is not even about the stellar results.

The key is the drive and motivation one should innately possess, no matter at what stage in our lives. It is rather disturbing to realise that many young ones nowadays do not possess this. They feel it is just frustrating to master subjects and skills that are "forced" on them, they do not have the least bit of interest in it. On top of that, there are too many success stories floating in the all-too-accessible World Wide Net of billionaires who made it big and they were school dropouts. I distinctly remember the purpose of such stories is to inspire the slower learners, that there is always a second route in life, and NOT to be used as an extremely convenient excuse that oh well, these people were dropouts, so come on, I am able to make it without learning all these crap now too.

I mean, come on. Realistically speaking, if you feel self-entitled now to own that piece of success in future, well, all i can say is, you will always feel self-entitled. Self-entitled that the opportunities are going to open for you. Self-entitled that whatever your parents left you will never run out. Self-entitled that there is always going to be someone to take care of you and clean up your mess.

Again we will see.

And i end off with these two articles i found pretty inspiring for my second point in this blog entry.

1) http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ironshrink/201208/why-i-dont-care-about-my-daughters-self-esteem

2) http://sg.news.yahoo.com/blogs/singaporescene/why-smartphones-making-us-dumb-022810060.html

7 days a week.. non-stop working.. for since.. a month? or was it 2 months ago? I have kinda lost track. But it's become so numbly routine i am getting used and attracted to it. Just work.. knowing that whatever I put in will reap me the rewards in return. A very fair give-and-take kind of relationship. I like.

I am tired.. physically. But i don't want it to end. Cos i don't want to lapse into the time when my mind is too free for me. Even now, in snatches of time in my busyness, my mind doesn't seem to be busy enough. It is still going into overdrive over useless matters. I literally have to force it to think of my work in a happy and postive manner to keep it optimistically busy.

And i am really loving my work more and more. I like the challenge of learning a new syllabus, working and talking to the kiddos. So much so i can smile when i go to work each day.

Of course the deep-set loneliness kept firmly in the recesses of my mind pokes its head up and shows its face once in a while. Sometimes once too many times, in my opinion, but my happy blessings around me and my reading still keep me sane enough. I don't allow the negativity (yeah i consider this a negativity) to overwhelm me for too long.

Reading really heals my soul. Everytime i am travelling between destinations, out comes the smartphone and I would keep up-to-date with my reading. I love how reading soothes my soul like no other. If there is anything i look forward to after this busy period, it is the pile of books i have readied for my year-end reading.

ahhh a random update. But feels so good pouring all this out in my little space.

Out and loved my hair and how it goes with the feminine lace dress.

One of my fave things to do whilst waiting..

All set and prepared for "winter"-reading =D

ADR x H&M accessories.. fash-forward i want! Not to mention, going to be affordable too ;)

Some custardy luv from Macau =)

Everyone loves a success story.. I see mine as a neverending, life-long struggle and fight... and journey. I pray for progression.

Progression weighs very heavily on my mind lately. Because without progression, there is no motivation/spark in life.

Random thoughts and Thoughtful gestures

Was so so affected earlier on... Then in my usual manner, i started ranting to the people i knew can take it.. G and djj.. i won't often choose djj in such an instance.. but i knew she could relate to it, and it's family-related, so i needed her advice. Interestingly enough, she did not dish it out in the usual straightforward manner, but in another more subtle manner (Literature inferences much?). If i had not learned by now to decipher the messages, i think my years of living with her can be considered wasted.

Of cos, dear G would dispense it to me in a more encouraging and kind manner. So i can only say, i am lucky and thankful to have the best of both worlds.. the soft and the hard. So i will continue to learn.

On a happier note, I cannot express how truly blessed i have been. More gifts and bday dinners, and appreciation gifts for the first time in my tutoring career (yes i can finally call it that cos i can truly feel the joys of it-not just cos of the gifts la.. but who doesn't appreciate a appreciative gesture: alliteration much? heh.. just went through it with a student today).

Lovely appreciation gifts for the first time! a cool tension-relief pillow, a ladybird 8GB USB and a red pen a student bought with his own pocket $$! =*)

A beautiful array of accessories flo brought back from her Europe trip for me.. so in luv! Been wearing the Disney bracelet almost everyday! and OMG, my first Coach bangle =)

grace always presents me with the most unique gifts. This time, it is a pair of handmade, pure silver earrings from Cambodia =) Such a classic design i have also been wearing it almost everyday! =)

Dining at Michelangelo's. Fab atmosphere with equally wonderful food to match.

American-style dining at Spruce =)

To end off, one of my fave casual everyday outfits! Color-pop!=)

It's Friday! TGIF!!

*Listening to Katy Perry's "Last Friday Night" and bobbing along with it*

P.S. Her movie, "Part of Me" was fab in my opinion! Totally took me on a journey of memories with her with the strategically-placed songs from her concert throughout the movie. I was laughing and crying in the theatre and goosebumps were popping up at the stupendous stage setup she did for her concerts! Candyland!! A well-documented timeline of memories of the ups and downs of the past year I had gone through too. And proud to say she is born in the same year as me! =) Can't wait for the DVD!

There are moments when suddenly, some people from my past would resurface in my mind. Then i would wonder, have i in any way crossed their mind as they do mine too, have i made that little/much impact? I would like to think i have, that if/when i crossed their minds, it is with a certain level of emotion, be it negative or positive, or impact. Sounds narcissistic? Yea it does. And much as i like to think that, i also realise there is the other side of the coin: No, they don't. No i never cross their minds like i think i would. No i am not that impactful or memorable.

I ever had someone tell me that sometimes i need to know what i am capable of handling, and it's a sorta subtle message that i cannot think i deserve this much cos i can't handle this much. Seems like a belittling thing but i like to think of it in the positive manner and see it as a reminder that i should know my own limits.

I am generally not a very self-confident character, with my fair/sometimes more than average share of self-esteem issues, although i have my own secret part in myself that i do deserve much much more.

Sounds contradicting much? Yea i know. It's a fine line between knowing your limits and knowing you deserve the best.

I read a very interesting article on Paulo Coelho's blog (stimes i feel that man seems to be able to intute and know what i need haha) that kinda illustrates this phenomenon. But his end-message differs abit. Still it suffices.

The Law of Jante
by PAULO COELHO on FEBRUARY 3, 2012

It is hard to find anyone in any of the Scandinavian countries who does not know this law. Although the law exists since the beginning of civilization, it was only officially declared in 1933 by writer Aksel Sandemose in the novel “A refugee goes beyond limits.”
The sad truth is that the Law of Jante is a rule applied in every country in the world, despite the fact that Brazilians say that “this only happens here,” and the French claim that “unfortunately, that’s how it is in our country.” Now, the reader must be annoyed because he/she read two paragraphs and still does not know what the Law of Jante is all about, so I’ll try to explain it here briefly in my own words:

“You aren’t worth a thing, nobody is interested in what you think, mediocrity and anonymity are your best bet. If you act this way, you will never have any big problems in life.”

The complete Law of Jante (thank you Lars!)

Don’t think you’re something
Don’t think you are worth the same as us
Don’t think you’re smarter than us
Don’t think you’re better than us
Don’t think you’re wiser than us
Don’t think you’re more than us
Don’t think you’re good at anything
Don’t laugh at us
Don’t think anyone care about you
Don’t think you have anything to teach us

The Law of Jante focuses on the feeling of “power. And this law is accountable for the world being manipulated in all possible manners by people who have no fear of what the others say and end up practicing the evil they desire. We see a huge abyss between the rich and the poor countries of the world, social injustice on all sides, unbridled violence, people being forced to give up their dreams because of unfair and cowardly attacks.

Mediocrity may be comfortable, up to the day that tragedy knocks at the door and people start to wonder: “but why did nobody say anything, if everybody could see that this was going to happen?”
Simple: nobody said anything because the others did not say anything either.

So in order to prevent things from growing any worse, maybe this is the right moment to write the anti-Law of Jante:
“You are worth far more than you think. Your work and presence on this Earth are important, even though you may not think so. Of course, thinking in this way, you might have many problems because you are breaking the Law of Jante – but don’t feel intimidated by them, go on living without fear and in the end you will win.”


The fine line between knowing your worth and knowing your limits? I hope i can figure it out someday.

My Beautiful July

I know if I do not get this post up and going, I may never get down to doing it, and by then it would be October, and the purpose of posting up a birthday post for July would have been totally defeated.

I want to do a proper post for my beautiful birthday month, because as I have mentioned, I want to have a memento of the good things in my life, to remind myself how truly blessed I am really, and be thankful for the people who have made it so beautiful for me.

My sis said i have been very fortunate this birthday, so many people have gone out of their way to make it special for me, be it to travel to get me stuff, researching for places to bring me to eat or taking time off just to spend the day with me. That was all i wanted this birthday actually : quality time.

Let the pictures tell the story =)

My celebrations started on 30 Jun when my darling babe, cat, brought me to a nice and quiet cafe in the North area, where we both live. I always thought quaint cafes as such could only be found in the more obscure places of Singapore, but was proven wrong. It was a lovely chillax dinner away from the crazy town crowd at Liquids Cafe. Loved it.

And though I had expected no gifts this bday, was pleasantly surprised by a lovely Tommy Hilfiger pouch (which she had bought on her London trip) and a really sweet card (bought with my taste in mind). I love the pop-up effect of the card v much.

Most importantly, the gift of her company, and the years of friendship, and her knowing me, knowing what to say at the right time, or give me a hug and silent understanding at others, and being there for me just without asking. I am truly grateful for the time given that I needed so much, just time and the plain understanding and faith that she had in me. =)

Think i spent much of my birthday month celebrating with the family. We had two (TWO!!) big meals at Imperial Treasure Dim Sum and Long Beach Seafood. Plus two lots of cupcakes!! I requested for cupcakes and no birthday cake this year. Mainly cos i just love the idea of varied flavours in sweet little cups. And Plain Vanilla is a fantastic new discovery. So good we went back for another round in July. Their red velvet is the best i have tasted. Not to mention fantastic service, they allow reservations to be made via SMS on the day itself. Love it! Ying even went to two 12 cupcakes outlets to get cupcakes on my actual day cos they were sold out at the first outlet and borrowed a polaroid cam from her friend and got kitty polaroids so we could take pics. Plus both sisters got me my fave chocs as little gifts! (Meiji strawbie chocs and Reese Peanut Butter Cups!) i'm blessed =)

Met eastie von for dinner and we had a nice dinner at Sushi Tei (cannot get enough of the freshness of their salmon sashimi salad and their sushis!) and dessert at Bakerzinn. It was a nice catchup for us as well. Always glad the gal chose to take the seat next to me in SW2101e tutorial class.

zt sweetz brought me for a nice dinner at Au Petit Salut, a French bistro for fine dining. Thank God i dressed appropriately. Loved my new Kaylene peplum dress. The cutting is fab and am glad i bought it although KD tot it was a size too big for me. Oh well theres always tailoring. Tried duck confit for the first time. i cannot say i really know how to appreciate the finer points of French dining but im glad i had the chance to try it. And she presented me with some teabags from her London trip (too!) which she had categorised and labelled with cute symbols i cannot help but take a pic of haha.. Always feel happy just to be in her presence. She is such a giving dear and always managed to touch me in the smallest ways possible. Like the time when she planned an evening out for me just to cheer me up, and the care packages she sent. I can't even :'). Really grateful for zt, though we seldom meet. Shes also another that just knows what to say or do to touch me at the best moments. Love u to bitz =)

Mine

Hers

Karrie babe took one day off just to spend it with me!! Whee~ Superbly touched really, cos i know how precious leave are to my office working friends. And she took it on my off-day just so she can spend it with me. Some good karma from the past life or wad? =) i really have a bunch of the best gfs around. We spent it eating and shopping.. as she always said, she can always manage to buy nice things with me haha. I have to say, she's my best shopping critic. Cos she will tell me if the dress is working for me anot, in all honesty. =) She brought me to a brunch place called Late Plate and after a sing-your-lungs-out session, we had a super nice dinner at Antoinette. Omg.. super love the ambience of that place, opened by renowned local chef, Chef Pang. Done up tastefully in French Victorian decor, the food did not disappoint as well. I will most likely go back just for its crepes and pasta.

It was supposed to be a June meetup with my fave gals but we had to push it to July as Syl babe was so busy.. Still it was a great meetup as always. My happy pills. I quote Syl, "it's amazing how good friends we are though we are so different". I would say i am just grateful that we came this far since uni days. Always there to provide laughter, joy, silly jokes, deep deep conversations and discussions and advice.. Again, how did i get so lucky? =) And syl dear bought cat and me belated gifts (cat's bdae in may).. sweet =)

Thankew mystery person! =*)

Love from mum's bff

A lucky gift!

As i was saying, i had expected little and almost no gifts this year but I was presented with some really beautiful gifts i have to share in my bday post. Really really sweet and thoughtful gestures, and most importantly with me in mind. The last gift was from a lucky giveaway, but i like to think of that bag as my bag of good luck for another wondrous adventurous year ahead! =)

Thank you all u lovelies who have made July 2012 sucha beautiful one for me. I am truly appreciative of all the thoughts and gestures with me in mind. =)

*****

Before i end off, wanna share some vainpot pics. I am very glad i went with the decision to curl my hair as it is turning out better than expected and i have been getting loadsa compliments on them. Love all the different styles i can achieve with it.

And i have also been exploring and rediscovering skincare with my sisters and improving my regime (say yay to forever-20 skin!). Especially getting into the idea of trying out skincare to find what works best for me. And i have to say, i am succumbing soon to the SKII spell. There is a reason why they are sooo goood. I am only a couple of weeks into their regime and the improvements to my skin texture are unbelievable.

Tadaaa!! Till the next time =)