I'm Fat - So What!

I think i should just face up to myself, after those past few days of crap from people. i AM bothered when people comment on my weight, or increasing weight. i am bothered when people look at me in a weird manner when i am out. i am bothered when my butt doesn't fully fit into the seat in the bus or MRT, some leftovers would crawl into the next seat. i am bothered when my clothes sometimes cost me more than the average girl. But i am going to stop beating myself up over it. in fact i have stopped since 2006, after the scare with my weight leading into depression. But i still let people's comments get to me, especially so-called concerned relatives who only see me less than 5x a year. actually it's only the relatives. my friends don't do that to me. my friends are bothered with the way they look sometimes themselves, but they dun give me shit for being fat. if they ever do judge me, which they don't, it's definitely not for the way i look. I cannot remember the last person amongst my relatives who made me feel it's okay to look the way i look. the last person who actually made me feel beautiful is sha babe, when i met her in 2006 and was on my way to self-healing recovery over my weight issues. she never once made me feel my weight is something to be considered, and she even gave me "You are beautiful" "You look fabulous" compliments. No one has any idea how much that kind of compliments mean to me. Because no matter what, i am a girl. i am vain, even if i am fat. i need to be assured by others too.

Hearing comments about my weight again from my cousin is really crap, esp the part when he thought i am gaining weight because i am taking it out on myself. it's like what the fuck. Budden none of them knows what i did last time whenever i hear those comments and i was stupid and didn't love myself then. Taking it out on myself? Now?Bull. I think they are still stuck in the time when i was 17 or 18, like i never grew up all these years. Never learn to love myself better. Actually their comments never change all these years. Self-image and physical beauty, i learned slowly, is a big thing in my families (both father and mother) and no one in these families ever make u feel beautiful for being plus-sized. No different from the kids at the playground or at school who jeer at TAF Club members. No one made u feel beautiful in these families other than yourself. So from 2006 on, i learned to love myself. took me that long but better late than never.

i'm fat - so what? I grew to learn that being extra large or small does not stop me from having my own personal style. i may not be able to fit in all the clothes in normal departmental stores. but i learned to look for clothes that flatter me and are pleasing to me. i learned to have my own style. in fact, i dress better than i did in those earlier uni days and even younger. i may be fatter now, but i look more great than those days when i was just occupied with how much i weigh.

I had no restrictions in finding what i wanna wear. So what if i cannot wear spag tops or figure hugging dresses? i found other avenues. Being fat also opened me to others who are like me and plus-size stores with clothes which are sometimes even nicer than the departmental stores who churned run-of-the-mill clothes with no style or personality.

I exercise now if only to keep me healthy. Not those punishing regimes in the past which i subject myself in a bid to lose that roll of fats. YES I EXERCISE. I MOVE ABOUT.

So i am fat, so what? Reading the thereupeutic articles about being plus-size in this society will teach me not to back down again the next time a relative makes those comments to me. I must really keep it in mind, to retort ON THE SPOT, and not miss the momentum by a few beats till it's too late.

I am a plus-size girl, but i love myself more than ever now.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/167031/im_fat_so_what_pg2.html?cat=47

"I have caught Tyra's spirit and I am also saying "So What!" I'm fat and so what! I am a beautiful, giving, caring wife and mother. My husband loves me the way I am and he finds me very attractive. So to anyone out there who thinks I should look better - so what! I weigh in 80-pounds heavier than when my husband and I married, but so what. After multiple health issues, childbirth, and thyroid problems I am lucky it is only 80 pounds and not more. I am tired of beating myself up over not being able to take off the extra weight regardless of trying everything under the sun to lose it. I'm tired and it's just not worth it anymore - so what. I dress well, my clothes all fit appropriately and even us plus-size women can wear attractive clothes. My thighs rub together when I walk and I have cellulite on my butt and thighs - so what! I can no longer go without wearing a bra as I was able to when my husband and I first got together but so what!

I'm tired of the fashion industry and society deciding for everyone what they feel is attractive and what isn't. I'm tired of people trying to run my life thinking that I would only be happy if I didn't carry the burden around of extra pounds. Losing weight and being thin does not equate to happiness. If you don't like yourself when you are overweight, you won't like yourself thin either."

Meghan McCain (John McCain's daughter)
"I have been teased about my weight and body figure since I was in middle school, and I decided a very long time ago to embrace what God gave me and live my life positively…. I am a size 8 and fluctuated up to a size 10 during the campaign. It’s ridiculous even to have this conversation because I am not overweight in the least and have a natural body weight.

But even if I were overweight, it would be ridiculous. I expected substantive criticism from conservative pundits for my views…. My intent was to generate discussion about the current problems facing the Republican Party. Unfortunately, even though Ingraham is more than 20 years older than I and has been a political pundit for longer, almost, than I have been alive, she responded in a form that was embarrassing to herself and to any woman listening to her radio program who was not a size 0.

In today’s society this is, unfortunately, predictable. Everyone from Jessica Simpson to Tyra Banks, Oprah and Hillary Clinton has fallen victim to this type of image-oriented bullying. Recent pictures of Pierce Brosnan’s wife, Keely Shaye Smith, on the beach in her bikini raised criticism about her weight and choice of bathing suit — as if the woman should be wearing a giant muumuu to swim in the ocean. After Kelly Clarkson’s recent appearance on “American Idol,” the first commentary I read on the Internet was about her weight gain instead of her singing.

My weight was consistently criticized throughout the campaign. Once someone even suggested I go to a plastic surgeon for liposuction. Afterward, I blogged about loving my body and suggested critics focus their insecurities about women’s bodies elsewhere. On the other side, my mother was constantly slammed for being too skinny, so the weight obsession of the media and our culture goes both ways. It also goes to both parties. Hillary Clinton has consistently received criticism for her pantsuits and figure. Whatever someone’s party, these criticisms are quite obviously both wrong and distracting from the larger issues at play.

The question remains: Why, after all this time and all the progress feminists have made, is weight still such an issue? And in Laura’s case, why in the world would a woman raise it? Today, taking shots at a woman’s weight has become one of the last frontiers in socially accepted prejudice."