We are all products of our past in some ways aren't we? I am glad I am who I am now.
Dinner with flo tonight had us contemplating about the restless, bored state we are in... a stage that'll come with mid-20s, where we crave for something new, something hyped, to get us rolling again.
The experiences of yesteryears washed over me like wine, bitter and sweet at the same time. And i thank every traveller who has walked or crossed my path, whether you are still on it or not, becos YOU maketh the ME now.
Yall are welcome to visit the ol' me if you wanna. Hey, i think i was more creative and more linguistic back then, esp the 2005 and 2006 entries LOL.
http://that-piece-of-sky.blogspot.com
One particular I would like to share is the one that is in sync with my musing since re-watching The Leap Years on Okto last night and reliving the beautiful love story between Li-Ann and Jeremy (I'm sooo getting the DVD!!), and one of the things that remain unchanged about me, me as a romantic idealist. Enjoy.
Dated 16 Apr 2007
Was revising my Human Development module, reading about the different life-stages of human life, today in the National Library with sha as usual.. and then during lunch, we touched upon the topic of childhood. was initially talking about the kinds of games we used to play... Sha used to play with alot of boy's toys, like action figures, whilst i was a very girlie girl, liking my masak-masak, nursing my dolls and playing jia jia jiu, cooking pretend-food. And then we talked about the kinds of childhood playmates we had, and she shared that it could be her playing with boys that attribute to her like for rougher games and boy's toys when she was younger, but it was different for me.
Few friends, except those close ones, know that when i was very young, i hated school. I skipped the whole of nursery school year cos i cried and kicked up a fuss whenever i was brought to school, to the extent that my poor mum had to forfeit half-a-year nursery fees cos i refused to go. Kindergarten 1 was mandatory.. and yet i kicked up a fuss when i was made to attend school again. I remembered my aunt and cousin physically dragging me to the kindergarten, and i cun stop crying and struggling, and the kindergarten teachers receiving me at the door by pulling me in.
It stopped (from my cousin's account) when i met this little boy, who remained my playmate for the next 1 year or so. He was the son of the fruit-stall-cum-grocery shop owners next to my male cousin's shoe shop in Jurong East then. I used to hang out at the area alot, and i got to know him as my childhood playmate cos my cousin and the shop owners were on very good terms. He was the same age as me. He used to come over to my aunt's place alot to play too.. and i would go over to his place (which was above his parents' shop) to play. He saw that i hated school, and cried whenever i was made to go, and one day, he held out his hand, and said "Come, let me bring you to school".
For some unknown reason (according to my cousin again), ever since then, i would obediently go to school. But only if he was there to hold my hand and bring me. So for the whole of Kindergarten 1, my cousin had to transfer me to his kindergarten, tho there was one nearer my aunt's place then. I would not go to school without him. During assembly, we would sit tger. During playtime, even when the teacher split us into groups of girls and boys, playing with separate toys (the boys playing blocks and trains, the girls with cookery sets), and even with the girls surrounding me trying to make friends (probably encouraged by the teacher due to my "infamous" crying bouts initially) and play tger, and even as i gradually warm to them, my eyes would always be fixed on him, to make sure he's still there, and be comforted by his presence. And after a while, he would sometimes come over to play with me, to calm my unease. After school, we would go home separately, change, eat lunch, and come out to play tger again. When we are at the playground, he would patiently play sandcastles with me, or the swings and slides. When we are at each other's houses, we would introduce each other to the toys we have. And he would patiently play masak-masak with me too, despite being a boy. When we played with my neighbour's daughter, he would join in our girlie games as well. He was an extremely sensitive and fun playmate for his age, and brought me through my fear of school at 4-5 years old. We were innocent happy little 'uns, playing each day, carefree of the troubles of the world.
After Kindergarten 1, after my cousin saw that i had settled properly into school, she transferred me back to the Kindergarten nearer my aunt's place, and i never saw him again. I heard that his family moved away after that, and gradually we lost touch with each other. At the young age of 6 years old, i soon forgot about his existence in the joy of making other young little friends, as kids usually forgot about stuff.
I dint remember him till i ran through some old childhood photos and my cousin told me of what he had done for me, overcoming my fear of school. There were only vague memories of a botak little boy always playing tger with me when i was young, but no more.
I do wonder occasionally where he is now, and if ever one day, our paths cross again, i would want to thank him for bringing me through that part of my childhood and sharing it with me.
In the midst of my own confused feelings, i suddenly realise, this is probably why up to now, as many other friends told me too, that i'm such a romantic idealist when it comes to relationships. Because he once laid that foundation for me when i was just 5 years old.
My childhood friend and i...
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