Needs to give free flow to her tears...

Sigh, it could be the time before the time of the month that my yoyo emotions are outta control.

all the pent-up emotions that I have been trying to contain within me. Telling myself it's okay, finding explanations for all the ingrates, finding explanations for my neglected state, finding explanations to why people forget, don't respond etc, yoyo-ing back to feeling guilty cos there are other people who are more tired than me, who have done so much.. i feel like i could go nuts u know.

Much as i wanna go, oh, don't say so much. So-and-So is too busy. So-And-So is too tired. But ultimately at the end of the day, it seriously doesn't take that much to dial a few numbers, press a few characters, to send a message or call that would just make the person's day.

I have always been conscious in knowing how special days mean to people, and how a message or call can make a difference. But ultimately at the end of the day, i find that not all people feel the same way.

I gotta stop giving so much if i find that i am tired of giving and expecting something back in return. In all honesty, we will expect some people to remember and give back one. And i don't think it's a big thing to expect that someone more special in your life than others to be there.

I am tired. I know i need to stop being so intense and be more frivolous.. But it's so tiring.. esp when u start comparing.. esp when suddenly, sprouts more people that share the special day with u in the same month. shit there i go again.

Just let the tears flow for now and all and all be fine tomorrow, later, whatever.

i need to indulge in something other than people.