Vanity

Just 1/2 a year ago, I blanched at the thought of putting no more than my basic skincare on my face. I was all about "Good skin is the Key of all". I just need good skin!! Of cos i was still getting comments on how tired I always looked.

6 months on.. from nothing..

To this..



And this..



And this.


I put like 7 stuffs on my face nowadays just for foundation: my basic 3 skincares (Cosme Decorte's Moisture Liposome and Mositurizer, Kose's Sekkisei), Sunblock, followed by Makeup Forever's HD Primer, Paul & Joe's Liquid Foundation, then set it off with Makeup Forever's Microfinish Powder.

Yup, that's a total of the 7 stuffs I put for skincare and foundation alone. And I haven't even gotten to putting in the colours (eyeshadow, blusher, lippie)

Dun faint now haha.

It all started with that fateful photoshoot in Feb:



the one where my sistaz tell me i finally look like their older sis, and how i got admiring glances from passers-by (there was this guy checking me out in Coffee Bean.. blush blush) and how i realise i can look really good with makeup.

Fenggy started making me up every time I go out for dates with my gfs and family.. i like her touch..


Then all the glam events..







Credits to these lovelies:

the gal who intro-ed me to Makeup Forever and got me my "starter kit" : brushes, color palette and Makeup Forever of cos.


the lady who did all my glam events makeup


the gal who did my eyeliner one night and it's the one time tt dint smudge!


my lovely makeup-crazy sisters.. the next time i go makeup shopping with them in Taiwan, i'll be able to appreciate it better than last year =) and it helps in sister-bonding heh.


wads next?

To build on my skills of cos. My Makeup Forever-crazy gal is reprimanding me for not knowing how to draw my eyes properly. oopz..

So welcome the world of makeup to my world.. Behold all these bottles and potions of magic.

oh it has been a fun, and exciting, and crazy, and expensive 2 weeks..

however i am glad for the friends and bonds formed in this journey.. and as i settle down from the high, i look forward to the next stage,,

me-time first however, and of cos, getting the room in order.. =)

Wanted to remember yest in these 2 incidents..

1) An ang moh stranger saw me outside during intermission and act stopped to tell me i have his note of confidence n he feels i will win and i looked fab onstage. V touching though i dint win anything, i felt i have my own "supporter" from the public ya know?

2) Prissy babe was telling my mummy backstage abt my good qualities, haven't been praised like tt and it really brought tear to my eyes..

Needs to give free flow to her tears...

Sigh, it could be the time before the time of the month that my yoyo emotions are outta control.

all the pent-up emotions that I have been trying to contain within me. Telling myself it's okay, finding explanations for all the ingrates, finding explanations for my neglected state, finding explanations to why people forget, don't respond etc, yoyo-ing back to feeling guilty cos there are other people who are more tired than me, who have done so much.. i feel like i could go nuts u know.

Much as i wanna go, oh, don't say so much. So-and-So is too busy. So-And-So is too tired. But ultimately at the end of the day, it seriously doesn't take that much to dial a few numbers, press a few characters, to send a message or call that would just make the person's day.

I have always been conscious in knowing how special days mean to people, and how a message or call can make a difference. But ultimately at the end of the day, i find that not all people feel the same way.

I gotta stop giving so much if i find that i am tired of giving and expecting something back in return. In all honesty, we will expect some people to remember and give back one. And i don't think it's a big thing to expect that someone more special in your life than others to be there.

I am tired. I know i need to stop being so intense and be more frivolous.. But it's so tiring.. esp when u start comparing.. esp when suddenly, sprouts more people that share the special day with u in the same month. shit there i go again.

Just let the tears flow for now and all and all be fine tomorrow, later, whatever.

i need to indulge in something other than people.

It's all about effort isn't it?

Efforts efforts efforts. Thoughts thoughts thoughts. Decisions decisions decisions.

Cannot wait for this month to be over.. Much as I wanna focus on the ones who have been truly thoughtful to me, I cannot help thinking, what an another neglected special day(s).

I need to get away from this all and focus on the positive ions. Like badly.

It's sad la.

I need to convince myself it aint all my fault all the time. But times like this, I really wonder if all the glam is worth the heartbreak.

and i also wonder, am i such a terrible person that some people i tot would remember forget about my bday, the day i have umpteenth times mentioned here that i feel should be tt one special day in everyone's life that the person shd be made to feel special?

But then again, are YOU a real friend if you are unable to stand by me in these times?

I know my core has not changed. I may be older, more jaded, but my core remains.

But as friends leave as the years go by, the doubts will creep back into my mind. esp in these milestones.

I shd just focus on the ones who survived the milestones shun i? (xoxo to flo and grace and zt here)

ying used to say i have damn suay luck in choosing frenz,, i used to vehemently rebut that but as the facts lay out for themselves, it is true.

at the end of the day, i just need a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on.

at the end of the day, i should just stop harping on these unworthy people and give thanks for the pillars in my life.

The effect of werewolves and toys

To watch the toys' bond on the big screen and then empathise with Jacob's anguish were such heart-rending experiences. Oh i am glad for the movie marathon today.

"You don't know how much I wish that is enough"

"The Clawww... "

awwww... to be touched to tears then to be wrung by Jacob's words... the emotions are really drained for them tonight.

i need a pair of wolfy-warm arms around me and a chance to love my Sylvanian toys all over again.

i was just tidying my wardrobe when a sudden epiphany occurred to me. There is a reason why the higher powers up there has put me where i am now - i'm talking about in terms of my choice of career. It may be a struggle now, but it is only the beginning.

It's like how i can connect with some people and can't with others. Had I got into the organization in April, I may have been miserable becos i can't connect with the people there, and it would be back to square 1, counting on my love for my children and youths to survive another miserable period.

I STILL get to do what i love now, and I have my peace of mind.

I am a blessed girl.

The beginning of a friendship between 2 like-minded souls is something i have not experienced for a long time. Blessings like this are scant, and i whole-heartedly embrace every single one tt comes into my life.

A late night chat over bottles of coke in Labrador Park, listening to the waves whispering, watching the brightly lit distant islands, and just absorbing the "wealth of water" (in her own words), was therapeutic and soothing in the midst of our busy weeks.

I look forward to more.

a good bowl of chashu ramen @ miharu's and dessert at Laurent B*** @ Robertson Quay with my healing balm starts my week right.

i love u g. for just listening and not passing judgement and pampering me... xoxo

Have come to the age where a handful of such cherished companions just do for me. U see? i'm so easily satisfied =)

was so emotionally strung-up last week, was just grateful for the kind compliments from a beauitful gal, and floooooo's company today. thank heavens we are so ageddd (like red wine, white wine in flo's words) that we are "beyond doubts".

Times like this, i just need those few who und me to surround me and pass me the positive vibes.

it's gonna be another full-on busy week ahead....

Happy Birthday to me?

Just wanna have a simple fun day out today with family since it is the first time in 3 years i don't have to work on my birthday.

Dun think it's alot to ask for, but the sucky weather, complaints, black unhappy faces and plain thoughtlessness just finally proved too much for me, even if i was willing to smile and coddle just to keep the peace.

Can't I just be given a day off to call it my special day, my own?

I definitely need my me-time soon.