I don't think my work as a counsellor has to mean i have to be a counsellor 24/7.
Lately I reflected on this, thinking about what happened in the yesteryears, when my expectations of people failed to be met, when people failed to be there when I expect them to, and somehow, I am expected to be there? I dunno.. it's the feeling i get again, and I dun like it, so hola, gotta back up abit and let the lessons sink back to me. If i dun wanna have expectations, i got to stop giving like I got alot of myself to give see? fair.. I guess i work like that so gotta accept it. I gotta stop giving the vibe that i'm okay and always-ready when people always download on me. cos when the consequences set in, i dun think it's fair to blame others either for expecting too much and getting nothing in return.
Few people can give me positive vibes nowadays, so i just gotta keep surrounding myself with these positive vibes. God knows i need it, having been sucked dry for so many years.
My sis was right on several counts, why try so hard for people who dun give u back? it's not even about expecting rewards or expecting that someone will pay for you when u go out. It's just plain friendship, the whole when-i-am-down-you-are-there thgie. I have the lovelies who has seen the worst of me and stuck through. I also have those I dun think i can trust to be there in a heartbeat, so seriously, why bother?
If i can only stop myself from freely saying the words, "I'll be there for you" all the time. I mean it i know, when i say it. But I dun think i get many recipocraters, and frankly i'm tired.
They say friends dun talk about price. I say, just learn it the hard way.
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