when it ceases to matter...

Lately I am caught in this whirlwind of past memories again... Or maybe I have never really stepped away fully from them... They are part of what made me for me today too ain't it? Or also, I have not found something rending enough to keep my mind and thoughts away from all those poignant thoughts. I think I have just come to accept that i am such a person. Sentimental enough. Dreamy enough. Once I have grasped that, thinking back to these memories, unpleasant or not, despite bringing back bittersweetness or feelings of grudge or sadness, these negative feelings come in lesser doses each time. Cos i allow them to come to me naturally. Allow them to come back to me as a form of reflectiveness, as a part of me being me, just liking to reflect and think back to those times. And it just becomes part of my daily routine. Just a part of my life, essentially meaning that it fails to overwhelm me with tears and sighs as much as in the past. Cos it is just that. Part of my daily routine.

Cos i know if i dun let the emotional baggage go, I'll never pick up the pieces in my life again. And I know I am made of stronger stuff of that. The ability to pick up and go.

Lovers to friends. Ash to dust. Life has a cycle. I just believe that in karma, we come back to square one at the end of the day. Debts will be paid. Dues returned. When one's happiness is built upon another's misery, do not expect the person's happiness to last.

Haha, okay let's leave the thoughts again to another day. I would love to share more camwhoric pictures of my happier days with you guys too..=)

**sistaz outing**

But Central Mall's super ex!! I think i will stick to my online buys!!



Delish Sizzlers' dinner with mummy...


Yummy!! I always just order the Salad Bar and it is enough to satisfy me with their array of greens, much-improved spaghetti, soups and never-ending lovely french toast.

**Lo Hei**

My family always does Lo Hei very late into CNY...
With our spread of home-cooked dishes.. and $18.80 Yusheng with lotsa ingredients!!



Huat ah!!!!!

::My "Ladies' Night" with Karrie::

No, not clubbing. *rolls eyes*. despite the dresses hahaha.. Just borrowing karrie's term of Ladies' Night. She said Wed night is always her night for catching up with her gal pals, so it's Ladies' Night. Okay there were some minor "interruption" with appearance of her bf, hahahaha, but i dun really mind cos he is one of those rare frens' bfs that i can actually converse with, talk and gossip about stuff and all. But still managed to catch up alot with Karrie babe in this Xing Wang HK Cafe in Cineleisure which she intro'ed me to. Long long meaningful talk that reminded me that even when there are those that dun understand me, there will still be someone who does. Completely. Thanks for always listening to me rant dear.. appreciate it loads.

think we really look like we are dressed for clubbing but yours truly really dun like booze, smoke or crowded sweaty bodies clamming together.

We decided to pose "chi-chi tai tai" to match our dresses that day.

Chi tai tai No. 1

Chi tai tai No. 2
The sweetie gave me a tin of home-made chocolate chip cookies which were perfectly yummy. Beauty and a talent for cooking. What more can you ask for in the perfect wife-to-be? But too bad, she's taken, and very much so.


Yummy HK food. I love my HK food and this is definitely one of the best baked rice I have eaten in one.

~Sam's Bday BBQ~

Da gal decided to hold a BBQ for her bday this year. Nice to have ppl serve you delish BBQ'ed food that you dun have to cook yourself the whole night. haha

da gals..


scrap the annoying guy out on shem's side. dunno why he's in the pic actually.


Only those present would know if the cup of vodka did fall on Sam's head eventually. Haha..


Princess Von proudly showing off her sequinned bear hp accessory which was a steal at $2.90!!

The night of crazy card games and booze-drinking (of neither i partake of) and revelations led me to realise i wasn't alone in my reminisciences of the not-too-far-off memories of just a year ago. It helps to know that, so thanks buddy.

#Sunday of fun and games#
Frowns. Not really fun and games throughout but i can't think of a better title le haha. Even after the late night of party, Von shem and i managed to crawl out of bed for a session of archery together at Tampines Safra and a movie.



Movie i would recommend for its sarcastic wit and poignant humour. Ellen Page takes my breath away again in another splendid performance after Hard Candy. Girl to watch out for in the next generation of Hollywood actresses man.

Dinner at Phin's Beerhouse Grille again.. hahahaha.. for what reason ah? *winks*

The Tiger endorser..

Relaxing in the comfy seats with Vonnie...

Super-delish Brownie Attraction. The best brownie i have eaten to date for its right texture, moisture and bitter choc sauce to take away the sickening sweetness and jelat-ness of a sugar-overloaded dessert.

I just love the way Phin's arranged their food. They can even do it to a side order. Yes, it's buffalo wings arranged in a pyramid.

Photo-less outing: goes to flo who always refuses to take pics with me. pouts. the sweet gal gave me four new pairs of shoes that day. Yipps!! Loves. Which are her impulse buys but are totally gorgeous to me. (see one pair i wore in Sam's bday BBQ) what have i done in my past life to deserve her? thankew babe, u spoil me so really.

I can't say how much i appreciate all these ppl in my life.. the reasons that remind me that despite the painful experiences that would continue to come, they'll stand by me no matter what. No matter how i become. No matter. No matter.

When it all cease to matter...

Till the next update guys.. take care!

i miss...

My days are getting so mundane now, with the usual days falling into night, of breakfast sliding into lunch into dinner, of watching endless videos on the Internet, of meet-ups in the usual places, that I am missing, craving the excitement and adventure of something new in my life, particularly learning something new... I long for my days of archery, where i take practice even back home, training for competitions for endless hours and getting myself tanned black under the relentless sun, i long for my days of guiding, where i learn new stuff with each badge i procured, I long for the days of learning Hip-Hop with Karrie, I long for the discovery of a new hobby in my life, which drives me crazy into tireless research on the Internet and hunting down the limited editions.

I want to pick up a new dance again. Jazz this time would be nice. Sigh. But money again.

Although i am not altogether the widely-travelled, widely-read kind, but i do have my own little cravings and restlessness and fantasies that still require indulgence. I do also have things i wanna pick up, for fear of wasting away my brain matter.

Luckily also, I am not the very greedy kind that ask for more or the best, MORE of this, MORE of that, learn this learn that. I just make do with what i have at the moment.

No dance? Nvm lor. Just go for the ones at my gym till i can afford specialised classes. Mundane life? Try to inject some life by doing stuff around my house. There's still my display cupboard to deal with. And books to read=)

Homey me=)

Happy CNY!

Did everyone enjoy your CNY? Hope yall manage to collect lotsa ang pows, had a good time catching up and gambling.. And for those at work and school, hope yall manage to use this short break to take a good rest or get away for a short holiday! I wish i had the money to go for a short holiday.. but no matter, maybe i'll be able to do it next year with my family!

Slowly, over the years, CNY is beginning to lose its significance for me, as relatives grow more distant, which i believe could be attributed to the demise of my aunt who was our unifying factor. I am much closer to my father's side than mum's side of family, so CNY is always a big gathering of uncles, aunties, cousins and nephews on this special day. However the significance has slowly faded over the years.. But nonetheless, i still managed to do some catching up with some cousins i am closer to, whether it is through house visits or they coming to my house to visit. This year, my cousins (aunt's children) arranged to come on the second day tger and we had a nice and cosy gathering.

No pics though.. I forgot to take pics.. =( Only a few with my own family.



Before going out on a visit.. think my FreshKon Alluring Eyes contacts in Winsome Brown looks most clear here. Supposed to make your pupils look bigger, giving the illusion of bigger eyes. I won't recommend this. Think colour contacts in any other colour besides black and brown would be better. Think i'll try grey next time.


Preoccupied with kissing bibi...


Doesn't he look snowy-white here? Ying and I bathed him on CNY 1st day.. He's getting heavier too.. I keep telling Pa and Mum not to feed him; they can't stand Bibi's big doe-eyed look when he wheedles for food out of them. Cannot cannot. Else he'll become overweight and won't look handsome anymore. No la, it's just that he is only a puppy and really cannot overeat.. I will still love him even if he becomes fat.. heeee


Crowding in Feng's room to make up before going out to visit... Love my Skin Food glitter eyeshadow.. super sparkly.. Luvs.. Yipps!!


A KTV session with my SW gang before CNY. Only took pic with Princess Von.

Then the usual other meet-ups and shopping with closies.. grace, flo and karrie. no pics though..

Other exciting thing that had happened so far in my life is that i went for an interview with a youth agency that i rather liked. What attracts me is their strong supervision (mentoring) which is very impt for social work i feel, and the fact that they only specialise in children and youth work, which means i get to do what i am interested in in depth. Pay is not alot, but i guess i got to make do with what i have first. =)

And I also found a quiet shopping mall.. no more crowded, claustrophobically suffocating Orchard!!.. some more got sales buys. Dun think i will divulge here, else it won't be quiet anymore. will bring my close pals there some time. can satisfy our shopping cravings at cheap prices!! Yipps!!

Shall end off here.. going shopping with sistaz.. hope yall will manage to collect more ang pows.. after all CNY is 15 days long!! i sure hope i get more... heeez