Just a couple of thoughts i think are noteworthy enough for me to pen here before i turn in for the night. Ahh.. it's an early workday tomorrow.
1) Couz brought up an interesting thought tonight that kinda reasonates with what i thought some time back. She said if she had my level of Language, namely English, she would have been using it elsewhere in this world.. i.e. teaching overseas.
This had crossed my mind before. Teaching overseas. Perhaps it's fear, perhaps it's comfort zone, but i have not found the guts within me to step out yet. And of course, the lower pay in comparison(from what i saw in some websites in the past when i contemplated the idea).
But this possibility may materialize in the future.. Singapore's syllabus may one day reach a point where I might not find viable to teach here anymore. Much as I love the challenge in tackling a new syllabus and learning it, there is just no platform for home-based tutors to master new changes, i.e. workshops etc. Thus far, i have to rely on my teaching friends and online resources. My strengths are in Grammar and Syntax mainly.. and i wanna be able to utilise it to the fullest. They are probably best used in helping students who really cannot even handle English at its basic, i.e. countries where English isn't the first language.
So what couz said did jolt me. I will see.
2) A conversation with a student today brought up this thought i had in mind for some time. It was one of those whatever-i-am-learning-now-i-will-not-even-use-them-in-the-future kind of conversations. It is interesting to note that this is a question that never really crossed many of our minds (i mean the 70s-80s kids). Don't do well, you will surely not do well in the future. Perhaps it is the fear of being left behind and getting the back-end of jobs that pushed us to give our best in whatever we do, or be THE best. It was this fear that propelled me to do well because I did not want to be sweeping streets or cleaning toilets (ya the old grandma story). AT EVERY STAGE OF MY ACADEMIC LIFE. Because by accessing the next stage, you need to pass the current one, isn't it? The key here is not even about the stellar results.
The key is the drive and motivation one should innately possess, no matter at what stage in our lives. It is rather disturbing to realise that many young ones nowadays do not possess this. They feel it is just frustrating to master subjects and skills that are "forced" on them, they do not have the least bit of interest in it. On top of that, there are too many success stories floating in the all-too-accessible World Wide Net of billionaires who made it big and they were school dropouts. I distinctly remember the purpose of such stories is to inspire the slower learners, that there is always a second route in life, and NOT to be used as an extremely convenient excuse that oh well, these people were dropouts, so come on, I am able to make it without learning all these crap now too.
I mean, come on. Realistically speaking, if you feel self-entitled now to own that piece of success in future, well, all i can say is, you will always feel self-entitled. Self-entitled that the opportunities are going to open for you. Self-entitled that whatever your parents left you will never run out. Self-entitled that there is always going to be someone to take care of you and clean up your mess.
Again we will see.
And i end off with these two articles i found pretty inspiring for my second point in this blog entry.
1) http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ironshrink/201208/why-i-dont-care-about-my-daughters-self-esteem
2) http://sg.news.yahoo.com/blogs/singaporescene/why-smartphones-making-us-dumb-022810060.html
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Monday, September 17, 2012
7 days a week.. non-stop working.. for since.. a month? or was it 2 months ago? I have kinda lost track. But it's become so numbly routine i am getting used and attracted to it. Just work.. knowing that whatever I put in will reap me the rewards in return. A very fair give-and-take kind of relationship. I like.
I am tired.. physically. But i don't want it to end. Cos i don't want to lapse into the time when my mind is too free for me. Even now, in snatches of time in my busyness, my mind doesn't seem to be busy enough. It is still going into overdrive over useless matters. I literally have to force it to think of my work in a happy and postive manner to keep it optimistically busy.
And i am really loving my work more and more. I like the challenge of learning a new syllabus, working and talking to the kiddos. So much so i can smile when i go to work each day.
Of course the deep-set loneliness kept firmly in the recesses of my mind pokes its head up and shows its face once in a while. Sometimes once too many times, in my opinion, but my happy blessings around me and my reading still keep me sane enough. I don't allow the negativity (yeah i consider this a negativity) to overwhelm me for too long.
Reading really heals my soul. Everytime i am travelling between destinations, out comes the smartphone and I would keep up-to-date with my reading. I love how reading soothes my soul like no other. If there is anything i look forward to after this busy period, it is the pile of books i have readied for my year-end reading.
ahhh a random update. But feels so good pouring all this out in my little space.
Out and loved my hair and how it goes with the feminine lace dress.
One of my fave things to do whilst waiting..
All set and prepared for "winter"-reading =D
ADR x H&M accessories.. fash-forward i want! Not to mention, going to be affordable too ;)
Some custardy luv from Macau =)
I am tired.. physically. But i don't want it to end. Cos i don't want to lapse into the time when my mind is too free for me. Even now, in snatches of time in my busyness, my mind doesn't seem to be busy enough. It is still going into overdrive over useless matters. I literally have to force it to think of my work in a happy and postive manner to keep it optimistically busy.
And i am really loving my work more and more. I like the challenge of learning a new syllabus, working and talking to the kiddos. So much so i can smile when i go to work each day.
Of course the deep-set loneliness kept firmly in the recesses of my mind pokes its head up and shows its face once in a while. Sometimes once too many times, in my opinion, but my happy blessings around me and my reading still keep me sane enough. I don't allow the negativity (yeah i consider this a negativity) to overwhelm me for too long.
Reading really heals my soul. Everytime i am travelling between destinations, out comes the smartphone and I would keep up-to-date with my reading. I love how reading soothes my soul like no other. If there is anything i look forward to after this busy period, it is the pile of books i have readied for my year-end reading.
ahhh a random update. But feels so good pouring all this out in my little space.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Friday, August 31, 2012
Random thoughts and Thoughtful gestures
Was so so affected earlier on... Then in my usual manner, i started ranting to the people i knew can take it.. G and djj.. i won't often choose djj in such an instance.. but i knew she could relate to it, and it's family-related, so i needed her advice. Interestingly enough, she did not dish it out in the usual straightforward manner, but in another more subtle manner (Literature inferences much?). If i had not learned by now to decipher the messages, i think my years of living with her can be considered wasted.
Of cos, dear G would dispense it to me in a more encouraging and kind manner. So i can only say, i am lucky and thankful to have the best of both worlds.. the soft and the hard. So i will continue to learn.
On a happier note, I cannot express how truly blessed i have been. More gifts and bday dinners, and appreciation gifts for the first time in my tutoring career (yes i can finally call it that cos i can truly feel the joys of it-not just cos of the gifts la.. but who doesn't appreciate a appreciative gesture: alliteration much? heh.. just went through it with a student today).
Lovely appreciation gifts for the first time! a cool tension-relief pillow, a ladybird 8GB USB and a red pen a student bought with his own pocket $$! =*)
A beautiful array of accessories flo brought back from her Europe trip for me.. so in luv! Been wearing the Disney bracelet almost everyday! and OMG, my first Coach bangle =)
grace always presents me with the most unique gifts. This time, it is a pair of handmade, pure silver earrings from Cambodia =) Such a classic design i have also been wearing it almost everyday! =)
Dining at Michelangelo's. Fab atmosphere with equally wonderful food to match.
American-style dining at Spruce =)
To end off, one of my fave casual everyday outfits! Color-pop!=)
It's Friday! TGIF!!
*Listening to Katy Perry's "Last Friday Night" and bobbing along with it*
P.S. Her movie, "Part of Me" was fab in my opinion! Totally took me on a journey of memories with her with the strategically-placed songs from her concert throughout the movie. I was laughing and crying in the theatre and goosebumps were popping up at the stupendous stage setup she did for her concerts! Candyland!! A well-documented timeline of memories of the ups and downs of the past year I had gone through too. And proud to say she is born in the same year as me! =) Can't wait for the DVD!
Of cos, dear G would dispense it to me in a more encouraging and kind manner. So i can only say, i am lucky and thankful to have the best of both worlds.. the soft and the hard. So i will continue to learn.
On a happier note, I cannot express how truly blessed i have been. More gifts and bday dinners, and appreciation gifts for the first time in my tutoring career (yes i can finally call it that cos i can truly feel the joys of it-not just cos of the gifts la.. but who doesn't appreciate a appreciative gesture: alliteration much? heh.. just went through it with a student today).
To end off, one of my fave casual everyday outfits! Color-pop!=)
It's Friday! TGIF!!
*Listening to Katy Perry's "Last Friday Night" and bobbing along with it*
P.S. Her movie, "Part of Me" was fab in my opinion! Totally took me on a journey of memories with her with the strategically-placed songs from her concert throughout the movie. I was laughing and crying in the theatre and goosebumps were popping up at the stupendous stage setup she did for her concerts! Candyland!! A well-documented timeline of memories of the ups and downs of the past year I had gone through too. And proud to say she is born in the same year as me! =) Can't wait for the DVD!
Saturday, August 11, 2012
There are moments when suddenly, some people from my past would resurface in my mind. Then i would wonder, have i in any way crossed their mind as they do mine too, have i made that little/much impact? I would like to think i have, that if/when i crossed their minds, it is with a certain level of emotion, be it negative or positive, or impact. Sounds narcissistic? Yea it does. And much as i like to think that, i also realise there is the other side of the coin: No, they don't. No i never cross their minds like i think i would. No i am not that impactful or memorable.
I ever had someone tell me that sometimes i need to know what i am capable of handling, and it's a sorta subtle message that i cannot think i deserve this much cos i can't handle this much. Seems like a belittling thing but i like to think of it in the positive manner and see it as a reminder that i should know my own limits.
I am generally not a very self-confident character, with my fair/sometimes more than average share of self-esteem issues, although i have my own secret part in myself that i do deserve much much more.
Sounds contradicting much? Yea i know. It's a fine line between knowing your limits and knowing you deserve the best.
I read a very interesting article on Paulo Coelho's blog (stimes i feel that man seems to be able to intute and know what i need haha) that kinda illustrates this phenomenon. But his end-message differs abit. Still it suffices.
The Law of Jante
by PAULO COELHO on FEBRUARY 3, 2012
It is hard to find anyone in any of the Scandinavian countries who does not know this law. Although the law exists since the beginning of civilization, it was only officially declared in 1933 by writer Aksel Sandemose in the novel “A refugee goes beyond limits.”
The sad truth is that the Law of Jante is a rule applied in every country in the world, despite the fact that Brazilians say that “this only happens here,” and the French claim that “unfortunately, that’s how it is in our country.” Now, the reader must be annoyed because he/she read two paragraphs and still does not know what the Law of Jante is all about, so I’ll try to explain it here briefly in my own words:
“You aren’t worth a thing, nobody is interested in what you think, mediocrity and anonymity are your best bet. If you act this way, you will never have any big problems in life.”
The complete Law of Jante (thank you Lars!)
Don’t think you’re something
Don’t think you are worth the same as us
Don’t think you’re smarter than us
Don’t think you’re better than us
Don’t think you’re wiser than us
Don’t think you’re more than us
Don’t think you’re good at anything
Don’t laugh at us
Don’t think anyone care about you
Don’t think you have anything to teach us
The Law of Jante focuses on the feeling of “power. And this law is accountable for the world being manipulated in all possible manners by people who have no fear of what the others say and end up practicing the evil they desire. We see a huge abyss between the rich and the poor countries of the world, social injustice on all sides, unbridled violence, people being forced to give up their dreams because of unfair and cowardly attacks.
Mediocrity may be comfortable, up to the day that tragedy knocks at the door and people start to wonder: “but why did nobody say anything, if everybody could see that this was going to happen?”
Simple: nobody said anything because the others did not say anything either.
So in order to prevent things from growing any worse, maybe this is the right moment to write the anti-Law of Jante:
“You are worth far more than you think. Your work and presence on this Earth are important, even though you may not think so. Of course, thinking in this way, you might have many problems because you are breaking the Law of Jante – but don’t feel intimidated by them, go on living without fear and in the end you will win.”
The fine line between knowing your worth and knowing your limits? I hope i can figure it out someday.
I ever had someone tell me that sometimes i need to know what i am capable of handling, and it's a sorta subtle message that i cannot think i deserve this much cos i can't handle this much. Seems like a belittling thing but i like to think of it in the positive manner and see it as a reminder that i should know my own limits.
I am generally not a very self-confident character, with my fair/sometimes more than average share of self-esteem issues, although i have my own secret part in myself that i do deserve much much more.
Sounds contradicting much? Yea i know. It's a fine line between knowing your limits and knowing you deserve the best.
I read a very interesting article on Paulo Coelho's blog (stimes i feel that man seems to be able to intute and know what i need haha) that kinda illustrates this phenomenon. But his end-message differs abit. Still it suffices.
The Law of Jante
by PAULO COELHO on FEBRUARY 3, 2012
It is hard to find anyone in any of the Scandinavian countries who does not know this law. Although the law exists since the beginning of civilization, it was only officially declared in 1933 by writer Aksel Sandemose in the novel “A refugee goes beyond limits.”
The sad truth is that the Law of Jante is a rule applied in every country in the world, despite the fact that Brazilians say that “this only happens here,” and the French claim that “unfortunately, that’s how it is in our country.” Now, the reader must be annoyed because he/she read two paragraphs and still does not know what the Law of Jante is all about, so I’ll try to explain it here briefly in my own words:
“You aren’t worth a thing, nobody is interested in what you think, mediocrity and anonymity are your best bet. If you act this way, you will never have any big problems in life.”
The complete Law of Jante (thank you Lars!)
Don’t think you’re something
Don’t think you are worth the same as us
Don’t think you’re smarter than us
Don’t think you’re better than us
Don’t think you’re wiser than us
Don’t think you’re more than us
Don’t think you’re good at anything
Don’t laugh at us
Don’t think anyone care about you
Don’t think you have anything to teach us
The Law of Jante focuses on the feeling of “power. And this law is accountable for the world being manipulated in all possible manners by people who have no fear of what the others say and end up practicing the evil they desire. We see a huge abyss between the rich and the poor countries of the world, social injustice on all sides, unbridled violence, people being forced to give up their dreams because of unfair and cowardly attacks.
Mediocrity may be comfortable, up to the day that tragedy knocks at the door and people start to wonder: “but why did nobody say anything, if everybody could see that this was going to happen?”
Simple: nobody said anything because the others did not say anything either.
So in order to prevent things from growing any worse, maybe this is the right moment to write the anti-Law of Jante:
“You are worth far more than you think. Your work and presence on this Earth are important, even though you may not think so. Of course, thinking in this way, you might have many problems because you are breaking the Law of Jante – but don’t feel intimidated by them, go on living without fear and in the end you will win.”
The fine line between knowing your worth and knowing your limits? I hope i can figure it out someday.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
My Beautiful July
I know if I do not get this post up and going, I may never get down to doing it, and by then it would be October, and the purpose of posting up a birthday post for July would have been totally defeated.
I want to do a proper post for my beautiful birthday month, because as I have mentioned, I want to have a memento of the good things in my life, to remind myself how truly blessed I am really, and be thankful for the people who have made it so beautiful for me.
My sis said i have been very fortunate this birthday, so many people have gone out of their way to make it special for me, be it to travel to get me stuff, researching for places to bring me to eat or taking time off just to spend the day with me. That was all i wanted this birthday actually : quality time.
Let the pictures tell the story =)
My celebrations started on 30 Jun when my darling babe, cat, brought me to a nice and quiet cafe in the North area, where we both live. I always thought quaint cafes as such could only be found in the more obscure places of Singapore, but was proven wrong. It was a lovely chillax dinner away from the crazy town crowd at Liquids Cafe. Loved it.
And though I had expected no gifts this bday, was pleasantly surprised by a lovely Tommy Hilfiger pouch (which she had bought on her London trip) and a really sweet card (bought with my taste in mind). I love the pop-up effect of the card v much.
Most importantly, the gift of her company, and the years of friendship, and her knowing me, knowing what to say at the right time, or give me a hug and silent understanding at others, and being there for me just without asking. I am truly grateful for the time given that I needed so much, just time and the plain understanding and faith that she had in me. =)
Think i spent much of my birthday month celebrating with the family. We had two (TWO!!) big meals at Imperial Treasure Dim Sum and Long Beach Seafood. Plus two lots of cupcakes!! I requested for cupcakes and no birthday cake this year. Mainly cos i just love the idea of varied flavours in sweet little cups. And Plain Vanilla is a fantastic new discovery. So good we went back for another round in July. Their red velvet is the best i have tasted. Not to mention fantastic service, they allow reservations to be made via SMS on the day itself. Love it! Ying even went to two 12 cupcakes outlets to get cupcakes on my actual day cos they were sold out at the first outlet and borrowed a polaroid cam from her friend and got kitty polaroids so we could take pics. Plus both sisters got me my fave chocs as little gifts! (Meiji strawbie chocs and Reese Peanut Butter Cups!) i'm blessed =)
Met eastie von for dinner and we had a nice dinner at Sushi Tei (cannot get enough of the freshness of their salmon sashimi salad and their sushis!) and dessert at Bakerzinn. It was a nice catchup for us as well. Always glad the gal chose to take the seat next to me in SW2101e tutorial class.
zt sweetz brought me for a nice dinner at Au Petit Salut, a French bistro for fine dining. Thank God i dressed appropriately. Loved my new Kaylene peplum dress. The cutting is fab and am glad i bought it although KD tot it was a size too big for me. Oh well theres always tailoring. Tried duck confit for the first time. i cannot say i really know how to appreciate the finer points of French dining but im glad i had the chance to try it. And she presented me with some teabags from her London trip (too!) which she had categorised and labelled with cute symbols i cannot help but take a pic of haha.. Always feel happy just to be in her presence. She is such a giving dear and always managed to touch me in the smallest ways possible. Like the time when she planned an evening out for me just to cheer me up, and the care packages she sent. I can't even :'). Really grateful for zt, though we seldom meet. Shes also another that just knows what to say or do to touch me at the best moments. Love u to bitz =)
Karrie babe took one day off just to spend it with me!! Whee~ Superbly touched really, cos i know how precious leave are to my office working friends. And she took it on my off-day just so she can spend it with me. Some good karma from the past life or wad? =) i really have a bunch of the best gfs around. We spent it eating and shopping.. as she always said, she can always manage to buy nice things with me haha. I have to say, she's my best shopping critic. Cos she will tell me if the dress is working for me anot, in all honesty. =) She brought me to a brunch place called Late Plate and after a sing-your-lungs-out session, we had a super nice dinner at Antoinette. Omg.. super love the ambience of that place, opened by renowned local chef, Chef Pang. Done up tastefully in French Victorian decor, the food did not disappoint as well. I will most likely go back just for its crepes and pasta.
It was supposed to be a June meetup with my fave gals but we had to push it to July as Syl babe was so busy.. Still it was a great meetup as always. My happy pills. I quote Syl, "it's amazing how good friends we are though we are so different". I would say i am just grateful that we came this far since uni days. Always there to provide laughter, joy, silly jokes, deep deep conversations and discussions and advice.. Again, how did i get so lucky? =) And syl dear bought cat and me belated gifts (cat's bdae in may).. sweet =)
As i was saying, i had expected little and almost no gifts this year but I was presented with some really beautiful gifts i have to share in my bday post. Really really sweet and thoughtful gestures, and most importantly with me in mind. The last gift was from a lucky giveaway, but i like to think of that bag as my bag of good luck for another wondrous adventurous year ahead! =)
Thank you all u lovelies who have made July 2012 sucha beautiful one for me. I am truly appreciative of all the thoughts and gestures with me in mind. =)
*****
Before i end off, wanna share some vainpot pics. I am very glad i went with the decision to curl my hair as it is turning out better than expected and i have been getting loadsa compliments on them. Love all the different styles i can achieve with it.
And i have also been exploring and rediscovering skincare with my sisters and improving my regime (say yay to forever-20 skin!). Especially getting into the idea of trying out skincare to find what works best for me. And i have to say, i am succumbing soon to the SKII spell. There is a reason why they are sooo goood. I am only a couple of weeks into their regime and the improvements to my skin texture are unbelievable.
Tadaaa!! Till the next time =)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)